Dudley the Dragon: King of Kings
Before I learned how to use the bathroom independently, I was a big Barney the Dinosaur fan. I think I've had enough life experience to understand that Dudley the Dragon was the superior reptilian entertainer.
My Reasons
- Dudley the Dragon was a Canadian-made TV series, while Barney was made by Americans. This explains why I am better able to relate to Dudley on a cultural level.
- Dragons are cooler than dinosaurs. The modern ancestors of dinosaurs are thought to be birds. Genetically, Barney was more closely related to the rats of the sky. I've had several birds defecate on me, but dragons have always been a source of comfort and entertainment.
- Barney took place in a school after school hours. To a child, being in school after the bell is the equivalent of a prison sentence. Dudley took place in an enchanted forest, and nothing bad has ever happened in an enchanted forest.
- Barney supported sub-prime mortgages and was part of the cabal that caused the 2008 housing crash. Dudley supported conservative lending practices and strict banking regulations.
- I found this audio file on my computer that seems to be me trying to record a jazzy version of Dudley's amazing theme song. Barney's theme song has been used as a method of torture in war.
- Barney definitely ruined this kid's life:
So there you have it:
Dudley > Barney
QED